It's been difficult for me to update this little blog because I've been going through some "mama stuff" lately and I haven't been able to decide whether to share that here or just keep things light and airy. I suppose I choose the third option, which is just not write anything. =)
Not to go into anything too deeply, but I will say that this whole experience of motherhood, nothing surrounding the care of Brynn has ever been much of a challenge for me...obviously, she's only 6.5 months old and I have a long way to go...what has been challenging is everything else...family, my emotions, expectations I've putting on myself, letting go of Brynn...I'm blessed with many wise mama friends in my life and I'm so grateful for the encouragement they provide, even when I seem to hang on to the same struggles, week after week.
What I've realized during the last 6.5 months is that stepping into motherhood is just like starting a new job- I can't expect to be perfect at every aspect of it from the get-go, or ever for that matter. It will take time to fit into my new role- a lifetime, probably...and I shouldn't be so hard on myself when my timing of being ready for certain things doesn't match up with other people's wants or desires. So, that's the dark stuff. =)
Amid all of that, I have never been so content in my whole life. I love my days with Brynn and being able to soak in every stage she is growing through...and yes, I meant "growing", not "going". teehee. I'm amazed at hoe much she loves me, I mean REALLY loves me. She's always happy to see me, thinks I'm ridiculously funny, and is such a snuggle bug. Mark and I look at her every day and have to pinch each other to believe that she is really ours.
The last few weeks have been busy with a wedding at Semiahmoo that Mark and I were both in (his cousin's- super fun, beautiful weather, awesome time with family, amazing location!), lots of playdates, planning fall projects and taking a million pictures of Brynn!
This was the first week of school and I've been thinking about what I was doing last year at this time, greeting new students with their crisp new clothes and backpacks full of sharpened pencils, and explaining to every parent that inquired (which was every parent) what my plan for the year was since I was obviously pregnant. I do love teaching, but I wouldn't trade that huge paycheck (ha!) for what my days include now!
Brynn turned 6 months old in August- she's 14 lbs, 4.5 oz, 26 inches long, takes 2 great naps every day, eats 3 meals of solid food, sits up on her own, is so happy and smiley and giggly all the time- we sure do love her!
1 comment:
I think you're an incredible mama! When you start to feel yucky about the details surrounding Brynn - family, friends, emotions, etc. - just give it to God. I might not have kids, but I've heard it said over and over again...remind yourself that the Lord has given you Brynn. Ultimately, she is His...which is why it won't matter if you fall short. He is there to be her perfect parent. :) Be encouraged dear friend and know that I think of you often and pray for your sweet family.
Love you! I also love your heart...so open and honest.
Post a Comment