Thankful November- day 4 and 5

I skipped posting on day 4...Brynn has a really bad cold and I've been up all night the last several nights with her since she won't go to sleep unless I'm holding her and then it took about 3 tries of putting her down, her waking back up immediately, and me repeating the holding and trying to put down before she would actually stay asleep...and even then it would only be for about 45 minutes before she would wake up and we'd have to repeat the whole process again.

I feel so bad for her because this is her first sickness and just by looking at her you can tell she's thinking, "What is happening to me?! Why can't I breathe?! What is this nasty stuff constantly oozing out of my nose?!"

So, to combine days (again), today I'm doubly grateful for the fact that I am able to be at home with Brynn full-time. I know that for some mamas, this is not an option, and for other mamas, they are better moms because they choose to work outside the home. I LOVE teaching, and I'm happy that I was able to begin my career before Brynn joined out family, and I anticipate re-joining the work force once Brynn (and hopefully other babes) are in school. I remember feeling a bit weird on my last day of work, but now that my days are full of baby smooches, poop, sleep/eat schedules, snot, spit-up, laundry, dishes, meal-planning, scrubbing toilets, and putting forth effort daily into making our house a home, I feel I'm right where the Lord wants me. It's a job like any other in that I can do a good job and stay on top of things, or I can do a crappy job and have a disorganized, flustered life. Maybe some can operate that way, not me. =) The added element is that there is this little person who needs me 24 hours a day, though I'd love that she DIDN'T need me between the hours of 7pm-7am...the girl had YET to sleep through the night! I underestimated how emotionally taxing this job would be...there is so much that is on my mind and heart surrounding Brynn, our families, friends, our marriage...and yet I know that that is part of how God designed parenthood- all these things bubble to the surface that cause me to really think about who I am and who I want to be.



Especially these last few days, as Brynn has been sick and needing me so much more than usual, I'm SO thankful that amid these sleepless nights and busy days taking care of a sick baby, I haven't also had to deal with writing sub plans and worrying about how my class is doing and feeling guilty that I'm not at school and feeling guilty that I can't be at home all the time.

We made some serious changes over the last few years to prepare for a responsible life on one-income, and that means many sacrifices. I'm so glad to be in the position where we have to think about the money we spend, because I think it builds character and makes us ever-so-grateful for the blessings we don't deserve that we've been given anyway, as well as setting the background for some pretty good conversations down the road when Brynn is older. Being at home also means I'm more accountable for how I spend my free time when Brynn is napping. Sure, I get in my fair share of Gilmore Girls when I just need a break, but I have taken on new responsibilities around our home and when I use my time well, I feel as accomplished as after a long day at school. I'm thankful for the work I have here at home. Work is good for me and I love sitting down with a pencil and paper and planning the next cleaning/organizing/homemaking project I'm going to tackle during naptime.



There's NO right way to do this mothering thing, and I give serious props to all the moms, including my own, who work full-time both in and outside their homes. What works for one family doesn't work for everyone, but today I am beyond grateful that my job right now is to take care of my daughter and our home.