Tuesday, May 18, 2010

3 months

Brynn is SUCH a cute baby! I'm biased, of course. She turned 3 months yesterday and I still can't believe she's OUR baby. It's difficult to capture her smiling on camera lately because she seems mesmerized by the camera lens and just stares at it when it's pointed at her. So, although the pictures don't show it, she smiles constantly and my favorite thing is going in to get her after she's been sleeping and being greeted by a big, gummy grin and a little coo. She rolls, has great head control, is tolerating longer sessions of "tummy time" and is pretty content when she's awake. People told me the fussiness would mostly disappear after 6-8 weeks and it really has, which is so nice. It's easier to take her out and not worry about her having a meltdown. I think it's partly because she can see better and farther now, so she can observe and enjoy what's going on around her. She started laughing about a week ago and we have a video of it from this past weekend when she had her first real fit of laughter...THE CUTEST THING EVER! It's amazing how a baby's laugh just melts your heart and makes you want to laugh, too. She sucks on her hands constantly and has found her thumb, too. I sucked my thumb until the 5th grade (don't be a hater) and although it's super cute to watch her suck on hers, I don't want her to have bucked teeth and 4 1/2 years of braces like I did! We'll see. I'm thinking about making the transition from swaddle to sleep sack so she can soothe herself in the night with her fingers and also so it's easier for other people to put her down, since the swaddling is a bit complicated to get right. I'm nervous about it because Brynn always startles herself with her arms, so I'm not sure how long it will take her to get used to not being swaddled...tips and advice are welcome!
And as if on cue, Brynn is waking up from her nap, so I'll leave you with some of our latest photos!

uh oh...

Friday, May 7, 2010

The magic of being a mama

My friend Kristen, a beautiful woman and mother who also has a gift for expressing her thoughts in writing, has spent the last week or so sharing on her blog some reflections about motherhood, in honor of Mothers Day...I've passed my computer many times in the last few days trying to decide how I can encapsulate my own musings on motherhood in this little space. It's difficult to describe how I'm feeling this year, my first year celebrating the joy of being a mom myself, as well as honoring my own mother.

Brynn will be 12 weeks old in a few days. When I allow myself to daydream, the memories of my pregnancy and her delivery are fresh. I remember hearing, before I had Brynn, that as soon as the baby pops out, you'll want 12 more. Well, for me, even though I was in complete awe of Brynn the moment I saw her, the memory of the pain it took to welcome her into this world was so real and raw and recent that I thought to myself, "Let's just start with ONE baby at a time, 10 years apart". =) Of course, as the weeks have passed, I am ready to do this all over again a million times if it means having another gift like Brynn.

A friend recently said to me "Robin, I've never heard you complain about anything with Brynn. It's so refreshing". I've wanted to be a mom for so long and had always hoped it would be part of God's plan for my life, that I can't imagine complaining. Now, I know I have many years of child-rearing ahead of me and there will be plenty of opportunities for griping, but I really don't want complaining to be a part of my character as a wife and mother.

I've just recently started reflecting on what a gift it is to be able to nurse my baby. I cherish this time with Brynn so much, the way she snuggles up to me, makes little noises, grasps on to me with her tiny hands, closes her eyes...it's such a precious time and I sometimes have to remind myself to not watch tv or use the laptop during this time, but instead spend time looking at her, praying for her, and just being with her. I know this season of mothering is short and I want to be able to look back and remember every detail of my dates with her at 2am.

Although I can spend a lot of time talking about how wonderful my new role as a mother is, it wouldn't mean nearly as much to me if Mark weren't here to walk along with me. He and I were sitting on the couch the other night looking at a photo of Brynn on the wall and he said "that's our daughter...we're a family now". Crazy. Since we were married almost 7 years before Brynn came along, I already felt like we were a family, but having her here gives so much more depth to our relationship and love for each other. It's been so magical for me to watch my husband become a father.

These last 12 weeks have been the most challenging and rewarding weeks of my life, full of so much "newness". As I hear Brynn rustling awake from her nap, I'm reminded that "me" time is often cut short, but I wouldn't trade all the alone time in the world for even just one moment with my baby girl.

Happy Mothers Day to all the amazing moms in my life. You have encouraged me up to this point and continue to do so daily in our conversations and experiences together. I'm inspired and amazed by all of you- there is definitely an instant camaraderie with other moms the moment you become one yourself, and I'm grateful for the new bond I have with the women in my life.