The magic of being a mama

My friend Kristen, a beautiful woman and mother who also has a gift for expressing her thoughts in writing, has spent the last week or so sharing on her blog some reflections about motherhood, in honor of Mothers Day...I've passed my computer many times in the last few days trying to decide how I can encapsulate my own musings on motherhood in this little space. It's difficult to describe how I'm feeling this year, my first year celebrating the joy of being a mom myself, as well as honoring my own mother.



Brynn will be 12 weeks old in a few days. When I allow myself to daydream, the memories of my pregnancy and her delivery are fresh. I remember hearing, before I had Brynn, that as soon as the baby pops out, you'll want 12 more. Well, for me, even though I was in complete awe of Brynn the moment I saw her, the memory of the pain it took to welcome her into this world was so real and raw and recent that I thought to myself, "Let's just start with ONE baby at a time, 10 years apart". =) Of course, as the weeks have passed, I am ready to do this all over again a million times if it means having another gift like Brynn.



A friend recently said to me "Robin, I've never heard you complain about anything with Brynn. It's so refreshing". I've wanted to be a mom for so long and had always hoped it would be part of God's plan for my life, that I can't imagine complaining. Now, I know I have many years of child-rearing ahead of me and there will be plenty of opportunities for griping, but I really don't want complaining to be a part of my character as a wife and mother.



I've just recently started reflecting on what a gift it is to be able to nurse my baby. I cherish this time with Brynn so much, the way she snuggles up to me, makes little noises, grasps on to me with her tiny hands, closes her eyes...it's such a precious time and I sometimes have to remind myself to not watch tv or use the laptop during this time, but instead spend time looking at her, praying for her, and just being with her. I know this season of mothering is short and I want to be able to look back and remember every detail of my dates with her at 2am.



Although I can spend a lot of time talking about how wonderful my new role as a mother is, it wouldn't mean nearly as much to me if Mark weren't here to walk along with me. He and I were sitting on the couch the other night looking at a photo of Brynn on the wall and he said "that's our daughter...we're a family now". Crazy. Since we were married almost 7 years before Brynn came along, I already felt like we were a family, but having her here gives so much more depth to our relationship and love for each other. It's been so magical for me to watch my husband become a father.




These last 12 weeks have been the most challenging and rewarding weeks of my life, full of so much "newness". As I hear Brynn rustling awake from her nap, I'm reminded that "me" time is often cut short, but I wouldn't trade all the alone time in the world for even just one moment with my baby girl.

Happy Mothers Day to all the amazing moms in my life. You have encouraged me up to this point and continue to do so daily in our conversations and experiences together. I'm inspired and amazed by all of you- there is definitely an instant camaraderie with other moms the moment you become one yourself, and I'm grateful for the new bond I have with the women in my life.