So, I've only been out of school and subbing for a few weeks, but already I'm feeling discouraged. I've had a couple neat opportunities come up that would be more full-time situations, but as of yet, nothing is firm. Part of my feels like God is trying to teach me something profound through this experience. I'm not a person who loves the unplanned...getting a phonecall the night before and heading off to a new destination every day seems like it might be exciting and a good way to learn what grades I want to teach and what schools I like, but I just LOVE the process of getting to know students, sharing their academic journeys, being a constant for them- with subbing I don't get any of that. I'm a part of these kids' lives for only a day, and where I probably should be thinking how blessed I am to be a part of their lives for one day, I find myself being bitter for not feeling like I have a "home".
I wonder how long God will have me in this place...probably until I accept and become content with it. :) I have been networking, interviewing, dressing to impress all over the town, and I know something good is coming...I think I'm just struggling with God's timing versus my own timing- those two never seem to line up!
Lord Jesus, help me to be patient. I know You have a calling on my life to work with kids. Until I have my own, I know this field is where You want me. I have been trained well and am ready to move forward, but Lord, what is it that You want me to glean from this time of being a substitute teacher? Please make Your vision clear to me as I continue to walk down this path. May my attitude be renewed by the reminder of Your goodness...Your faithfulness. Amen.
Five things I am thankful for today:
1. A safe car
2. The Holy Spirit, who I believe is my active, VERY active conscience
3. My awesome Cuisinart coffepot
4. The smell of Mark as he kisses me hello in the evening
5. The knowledge that God has a plan for me that I can trust
"For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
No comments:
Post a Comment